REAL REVIEWS CDs

PANTERA

CD: REINVENTING THE STEEL

I KNOW YA LOVE EM AND PANTERA RULES BUT THEY SOUND A LITTLE RUSTY, IT DON'T HIT ME IN THE FACE NO MORE. NOW ITS BEEN WHAT 4 YEARS SINCE THE LAST CD? IF THEY DO ANOTHER CD BY THE END OF NEXT YEAR.... THAT WILL BE THE KICK ASS CD OF THE YEAR! WHY? CUZ RIGHT NOW THERE FAT AND HAPPY NOW (LOOK AT PIC INSIDE CD) THEY AINT HUNGRY NO MORE.

THIS CD SHOWED THEY STILL GOT DA CHOPS (BEST CUT IS YESTERDAY DON'T MEAN SH**) BUT YA GOTTA BE HOT, HUNGRY, AND MAD AS HELL TO PUT OUT LIKE VULGAR!! PANTERA OUTTA PLAY AND SCREAM LIKE 101 PROOF. I KNOW THEY CAN DO BETTER. PANTERA RULES! IF YOU DON'T LIKE PANTERA YOUR STUPID! SO GET OFF MY SITE! ANY COMMENTS OR QUESTIONS CAN BE FORWARDED TO MY BUNGHOLE.

-JES

CD TITLE: HALFORD/RESURRECTION

PERFORMER: ROB HALFORD AND BAND

CATEGORY: METAL

FIRST OFF, LET ME MAKE ONE THING CLEAR: THIS IS THE REAL DEAL. ROB HALFORD, LEGENDARY EX-JUDAS PRIEST, EX-FIGHT, EX-TWO VOCALIST IS BACK, SCREAMING FOR VENGEANCE-AND HE WANTS YOU TO PAY ATTENTION! THE BAND, LIKE HIS OTHER POST-PRIEST PROJECT FIGHT, IS A BUNCH OF PEOPLE I'VE NEVER HEARD OF. BUT THEY KNOW HOW TO PLAY, AND THAT'S WHAT COUNTS. THE LINER NOTES CLAIM THAT THIS DISC IS THE RESULT OF "THOUSANDS OF HOURS OF WORK BETWEEN 1998 AND 2000". I SAID TO MYSELF WHEN I READ THIS "WELL IT BETTER BE GOOD THEN-'CAUSE I JUST PLUNKED DOWN $13.99 PLUS TAX OF MY HARD-EARNED MONEY FOR IT!".
I DON'T WANT TO DO A TRACK BY TRACK REVIEW HERE. OUTSTANDING CUTS ARE THE FIRST TWO TRACKS,
"RESURRECTION" AND "MADE IN HELL", WHICH SEEM TO BE A RECAP OF ROB'S INCREDIBLE CAREER AS METAL VOCALIST EXTRAORDINAIRE. THE 7-MINUTE OPUS "SILENT SCREAMS" IS ALSO EXCELLENT. THE ONLY WEAK TRACK TO MY EAR IS "TWIST". ROB ENLISTS THE HELP OF ANOTHER METAL VOCAL LEGEND, BRUCE DICKINSON, ON "THE ONE YOU LOVE TO HATE". BASICALLY, THE SOUND IS VINTAGE PRIEST AND THERE AIN'T NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT! THE TWO MAJOR THEMES ARE SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS (MUCH OF THE DISC) AND THE JOYS OF BEING A METAL SINGER (RESURRECTION AND MADE IN HELL).THE DISAPPOINTMENT IS THAT THERE IS NOTHING GROUNDBREAKING HERE (SORRY ROB, BUT IT'S TRUE). THE GUITARS ARE HEAVY AND FAST, THE RHYTHM SECTION HOLDS DOWN THE BOTTOM, AND ROB'S INIMITABLE MULTI-OCTAVE VOCALS SOUND AS GOOD AS EVER. THERE'S NOTHING PRIEST HASN'T DONE BEFORE, AND DONE BETTER. BUT-IF YOU LOVE IT LOUD AND HARD, THIS DISC IS STILL BETTER THAN 95% OF THE LAME STUFF THEY'RE CALLING "HEAVY METAL" NOW. HOPEFULLY THESE GUYS WILL LAST LONGER THAN FIGHT AND GIVE US A CHANCE TO SEE IF THEY CAN FORGE A STYLE LIKE THE ONCE-AWESOME JUDAS PRIEST.

- FREE (PRINCIPAL WRITER FOR "REALROCK.TV" COPYRIGHT 24AUG00)

METALLICA (a.k.a SOLDOUTTAKA):

CD:S&M

I USED TO LOVE EM............BUT WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? YA HAD RIDE THE LIGHTNING, JUSTICE FOR ALL AND ENTER THE SANDMAN THEN LOAD & RELOAD WHICH WERE OKAY........I MEAN I'LL TRY SOMETHING NEW. BUT METTALICA WITH THE PHYHARMONIC? ANY WAY I GOT NOTHING BUT HATE FOR THEM... IF THEY GREW UP OR NEEDED TO BROADEN THEIR HORIZONS THEN I'M GONE F**K THIS LIMPWRISTED CRAP. I DON'T DRIVE A F**N ELEVATOR.

-JES

Band: King's X

C D: Please Come Home Mr. Bulbous

King’s X comes roaring back with their seventh studio effort, the strangely titled, Please Come Home Mr. Bulbous This is the King’s X we know and love-power chording guitars over a rock-solid rhythm section, jaw-dropping solos, and vocal harmonies, The writing is good and the playing is better

The first tune, “Fish Bowl Man”, starts off with a wild guitar intro. The verses are almost spoken rather than sung, but then the chorus comes in with a pleasing vocal harmony The third track, “She’s Gone Away”, features a wild solo, showcasing Ty’s incredible technique and feel “When You’re Scared” has a mournful, almost bluesy solo.

There’s a track called “Charlie Sheen” that I am not sure whether they are poking fun at an underacheiving actor or maybe at Hollywood in general. Also somewhat strange is several spoken German phrases at the beginning and end of some of the songs. I don’t “Sprechen sie Deutsch” so I couldn’t translate There is one buried a minute or so after the end of the last track.  Anyway this is a good disc-buy it-or at least borrow it from your friend!

The sound is excellent all the way through (we wouldn’t expect anything less from King’s X, naturally) The CD was recorded and mixed by Ty-so he’ll still have a career even if he tires of the rock-star thing. Apparently the whole band is using Yamaha gear now-maybe they have been for awhile-I just noticed on the notes that they mention Yamaha guitars, basses and drums. Whatever they’re playing, they’re playing it hard and playing it well. This is a band which has to be seen live to be truly appreciated-but this disc will give you an idea why-and get you hoping they’ll play your town soon!

-Free, (Principal Writer-therealrock.comCopyright 12OCT00)

BAND: U.P.O.

CD: NO PLEASANTRIES

I DON’T KNOW WHERE THESE GUYS CAME FROM-BUT I DO KNOW TWO THINGS:

1. I LIKE WHAT I HEARD. "NO PLEASANTRIES".

2. THEY HAVE A VERY DARK AND NEGATIVE OUTLOOK ON LIFE-AT LEAST IF THEIR LYRICS ARE ANY INDICATION!

THE SINGLE, GODLESS JAMMED. I WAS ALSO INTRIGUED BY THE FACT THAT IT WAS FROM A BAND THAT I HAD NEVER HEARD OF. I FOUND THEIR CD AT A BIG DEPARTMENT STORE FOR $10 AND DECIDED TO TAKE A CHANCE.

THIS IS NOT A “CHANGE YOUR LIFE” CD, THE BAND JUST PLAYS GOOD HARD ROCK CONSISTENTLY THRU THE DISC. THERE ARE NO TRACKS THAT ARE AS GREAT AS “GODLESS”-BUT THERE ARE NUMEROUS GOOD SONGS ON HERE. WHO TO COMPARE THEM TO?

WELL, THEY ARE LIGHTER THAN GODSMACK AND HEAVIER THAN EVE 6, TO REFERENCE THEM TO A COUPLE OF WELL KNOWN NAMES.

BUT CLOSER TO GODSMACK THAN EVE 6-ESPECIALLY IF YOU LISTEN TO THE LYRICS! THEY ARE A BASIC 4-MAN LINEUP:

I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ANY OF THE BAND MEMBERS BEFORE SHAWN ALBRO-VOX; CHRIS WEBER-GUITARS; BENJAMIN SHIRLEY-BASS; AND TOMMY HOLT-DRUMS. ANY READERS KNOW ANY OF THESE GUYS BACKGROUNDS, PLEASE SEND AN E-MAIL! THE SONGS ARE ABOUT BROKEN DREAMS, ALIENATION, ATHEISM, ANGST.

IF YOU ARE PREDISPOSED TOWARD DEPRESSION-DON’T LISTEN TO THESE GUYS! THEY WILL BRING YOU RIGHT DOWN! MY FAVORITE TRACKS ARE “CIRCLE OF LIFE”, “GODLESS”, “MY LIFE” AND “DUST”. NOTHING GROUNDBREAKING HERE, BUT IT IS THEIR FIRST CD. I’LL DEFINITELY GAMBLE A FEW BUCKS IF AND WHEN THEY PUT OUT THE SOPHOMORE EFFORT. I KNOW THEY ARE ON TOUR NOW-THE CLOSEST THEY CAME TO ME WAS ATLANTIC BEACH, NC-AND IT WAS ON MY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY! SO I MISSED THEM. IF THEY HIT YOUR TOWN, GO SEE ‘EM-THEY COULD BE CONTENDERS.

-FREE, (PRINCIPAL WRITER-THEREALROCK.COMCOPYRIGHT 12OCT00)

BAND: GODSMACK

CD: GODSMACK

THE EPONYMOUSLY TITLED DEBUT BY GODSMACK ROCKS HARD! THE NAME IS TAKEN FROM AN ALICE IN CHAINS SONG ABOUT HEROIN (BUT YOU ALREADY KNEW THAT RIGHT ?!!?). TO DATE THE CD HAS YIELDED THREE SONGS IN "HEAVY ROTATION" ON YOUR LOCAL FM STATION: "WHATEVER", "KEEP AWAY" AND "VOODOO". I LOVE THE FIRST TWO AND HATE THE THIRD ONE. BUT OVERALL, THIS IS AN EXCELLENT FIRST EFFORT. THE SINGER BELTS OUT THE LYRICS, THE BAND PLAYS HARD, AND THEY GET SOME OF THE MOST BRUTAL GUITAR SOUNDS I'VE EVER HEARD. THE FIRST TRACK "MOON BABY" THE SINGER INVITES HIS WOMAN TO "TAKE A BLAST TO THE MOON BABY"-AND THEY DON'T LET UP FROM THERE. EXCEPT FOR THE PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED "VOODOO" PRETTY MUCH EVERY TRACK ON THIS CD ROCKS! MOST OF THEIR SONGS ARE QUITE NEGATIVE ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS- ON "WHATEVER" HE TELLS HIS GIRLFRIEND (OR ONE NIGHT STAND MAYBE?) TO "F@#$ING GO AWAY". THE TITLES OF "KEEP AWAY"AND "GET UP, GET OUT!" SAY IT ALL. THIS IS DEFINITELY A BAND THAT HAS SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP ISSUES (OR AT LEAST LOVES TO SING ABOUT 'EM ANYWAY!). LIKE MOST CONTEMPORARY HARD ROCK/METAL VOCALISTS, THE SINGER DOESN'T DISPLAY A LARGE RANGE VOCALLY-BUT HE DEFINITELY SINGS WITH PASSION. ONLY THE FIRST NAMES OF

THE BAND MEMBERS ARE GIVEN IN THE LINER NOTES:SULLY ON VOX, TONY ON GUITARS/VOX, ROBBIE ON BASS, AND TONY ON DRUMS.

THE GUITAR SOUND IS SPECTACULARLY HEAVY AND IS PROBABLY WHAT DISTINGUISHES THE BAND FROM THE NUMEROUS OTHER HARD ROCK BANDS OUT THERE. THE RHYTHM SECTION IS TIGHT AND AS ALREADY MENTIONED, SCULLY BELTS OUT HIS VOCALS LIKE A MAN WITH SOME ANGER AND PAIN ON HIS MIND! I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THE GUYS LIVE, IF THEY CAN DELIVER THE GOODS ON STAGE LIKE THEY DO FROM THE STUDIO, I WANT TO BE IN THE CROWD! LET'S HOPE THEY CAN COME UP WITH SOME GOOD STUFF FOR THEIR NEXT CD. MEANWHILE, GET THE CD, AND SEE THEM IF YOU GET THE CHANCE.
ANY OF YOU READERS WHO HAVE SEEN THE BAND LIVE-PLEASE SEND US AN E-MAIL AND LET US KNOW WHAT THEIR SHOW IS LIKE.

-FREE, (PRINCIPAL WRITER-THEREALROCK.COMCOPYRIGHT 12OCT00)

BAND: ERIC JOHNSON AND ALIEN LOVE CHILD

CD: LIVE AND BEYOND

LISTEN UP YOU EARTH MOFOS! ERIC J. HAS A NEW CD OUT! IF YOU KNOW ERIC'S MUSIC THEN YOU'RE NOT EVEN READING THE REST OF THIS-YOU ARE OUT THE DOOR, HEADED TO YOUR FAVORITE CD STORE. IF YOU DON'T KNOW ERIC'S MUSIC-WELL SOMEONE AT THEREALROCK.COM WILL SHOOT YOU! JUST KIDDING. I HAD ACTUALLY INTENDED TO WRITE A REVIEW OF BLINK 182'S NEW LIVE CD-WHICH CAME OUT TODAY. WELL, I WILL REVIEW THAT ONE TOMORROW-A CD FROM MR. JOHNSON, WHILE NOT AS RARE AS HALLEY'S COMET-IS ABOUT AS RARE AS THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION THAT IS HAPPENING AS I WRITE.

BRIEF BACKGROUND: EJ HIT THE SCENE MANY YEARS AGO WITH THE CLASSIC ALBUM TONES. IT WAS 3-4 YEARS BEFORE HIS 2ND CD AH VIA MUSICOM WAS RELEASED. THESE TWO CDS ALONE REPRESENT MORE THAN MANY MUSICIANS ACCOMPLISH IN A LIFETIME. I THINK THIS CD IS HIS THIRD RELEASE-I WILL CHECK ON THIS. THERE MAY HAVE BEEN ONE BETWEEN THIS AND AH VIA MUSICOM-BUT I DON'T THINK SO. ERIC J. DEFINITELY GOES FOR QUALITY OVER QUANTITY.

THIS IS 90% LIVE, RECORDED IN TX IN JAN. OF THIS YEAR. THERE IS ONE STUDIO CUT (OUT OF 10 SONGS). THE BAND IS: EJ: LEAD GUITAR/RHYTHM GUITAR AND VOX; CHRIS MARESH: BASS, BASS KEYS AND VOX; BILL MADDOX: PERCUSSION AND SAMPLES. MALFORD MILLIGAN IS GUEST VOCALIST ON 2 TRACKS. ALL I CAN TELL YA IS, IT'S ALL GOOD-MOSTLY JAW-DROPPING GOOD. TWO PERSONAL FAVORITES: THE 10 MINUTES+ 2ND TRACK "LAST HOUSE ON THE BLOCK" AND A TRIBUTE TO JOHN LEE HOOKER CALLED "THE BOOGIE KING". I DIDN'T ESPECIALLY LIKE THE 3RD SONG "RAIN"-ALTHOUGH I EXPECT IT MIGHT GET BETTER WITH MORE LISTENING. THE REST OF THE CD BLEW ME AWAY. ERIC JOHNSON IS ONE OF THE BADDEST OF THE BAD WHEN IT COMES TO AX-SLINGING. AND HE CAN SING, TOO. BACK HIM UP WITH AN ACE RHYTHM SECTION-AND LOOK OUT! I'VE SEEN ERIC PLAY LIVE TWICE-ONCE AT BERKLEE IN BOSTON AND ON THE G3 TOUR WITH SATRIANI AND VAI.

HE IS NOT A DAZZLING SHRED-MONSTER LIKE VAI AND SATCH-BUT TO MY MIND HE IS MORE MELODIC THAN EITHER OF THEM.
GET THIS, AND TURN YOUR FRIENDS ON TO IT. IT AIN'T METAL, BUT IT IS HEAVY. OH YEAH, IT IS HEAVY.

-FREE, (PRINCIPAL WRITER-THEREALROCK.COMCOPYRIGHT 11/7/00)

BAND: KING'S X

CD: Mr.BULBOUS

KINGS WHO???????? YEAH NOT ONE OF YOUR WELL KNOWN BANDS, THERE KINDA LIKE DREAMTHEATER........OK THERE KINDA LIKE A CHRISTIAN VERSION OF ALICE N CHAINS OR GODSMACK. REALLY THERE THAT GOOD AND THERE A THREE PIECE BAND. I SUGGEST GETTING THE CD DOGMAN OR FAITH HOPE AND LOVE THERE REALLY HEAVY BUT IN A NICE SORTA WAY. ANYWAY I WHAT TO TALK ABOUT THERE LATEST CD MR.BULBBUT. IT FUCKING STINKS YES IT STINKS THEY USED TO ROCK NOW THERE LIKE ELEVATOR MUSIC.SEEMS THE LEAD GUITAR PLAYER TOTAL WUSSYED OUT AND THE SINGER JUST GAVE UP IF YOU KNOW THIS BAND YOU'LL DEFINATLY KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.DON'T BUY THIS SHIT PLEASE. -JES

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